Happy Birthday
I think a lot about the past recently like how I was one year ago and I now relaize this is the first time I can say things get better as time goes. From that time on one side I had cut all the people I had really known in my life more or less people who were my "best friends" a year ago and I trusted them with my whole heart turned out to not be a good people. Needles to say I think I am doing much better both physically and mentally and somehow it is freeing knowing in the back of my mind it is there and it always be there but being happy that I got better that I at least have some sort of self acceptance that I don't cry everyday trying to change how I look and just trying to accept myself and trying to live and not just survive it is beautiful feeling I wish to everyone.
If you had told me on my 17 th birthday where would I be on my 18 th birthday and how I would be I would not believe you. I would not believe that I am healthy enough to go to the concert and jump around and be myslef without fainting and without any complications that I am happy and that I alive. I would not also belive myself that I got to a lorde concert on my 18 th birthday that I would hear a song that help a lot. That I would scream it out loud and feel something in me quite heal ( that is way too cringy) On my 17 th birthday I had written an e mail to a support organization trying to get help trying to get better being at my absolute worst with two people who I thought want me to get better just to turn out when you got better they don't like it. A year ago me wouldn't belived I moved countries that I got bullied so bad that that I have to leave the school and repeat a year. On the same time I am scared that I relapse but that is part of the process.
Overall things get better if you compare bigger parts rather than smaller ones and especially equally sized once.
Thank you for whoever is reading this
-xoxo H